RwR 19/11 to 25/11

A busy week.

SotW: Remember – Lucas King / A Pure Heart – Rusty Nelson

Just finished a paper today. Feels like a load of my chest, and so I’m here to write the update for last week.

 

How I’ve been…

  1. Physically:
    1. Sleep got worse – yoyoing a lot more and slept quite late. Naps were frequent to compensate for lack of sleep.
    2. Exercise was not re-continued.
  2. Mentally:
    1. Mostly productive at the start of the week, dropped as the week came to an end.
    2. I think I’d like to continue keeping my foot on the pedal though…
  3. Emotionally:
    1. A tough week. Similar to last week, got another rejection mail from another place that I had hoped to apply to. Watched my dream job(s) crumble while juggling clearing my last essay and doing a take-home finals.
    2. It was tough. Dealing with disappointment never gets easier, but I’m grateful for a few close friends whom I could pour my woes to.
    3. For that reason and a few others, the week yoyo’d up and down: Good days, bad days, good days, bad days.
    4. Some days better than others, some nights harder to get through than others.
  4. Socially:
    1. Didn’t really have any meetups since it was reading week. Did get the chance to hang out with a few other CFers and had fun playing board games and badminton.
    2. It’s nice to meet new people, I think. Maybe next year I’ll see some of them in my final semester…?
  5. Spiritually:
    1. Similar to last week, it was another tough week. No such miracles this week, but encouragement and support was present all the same.
    2. Still, receiving blow after blow was pretty difficult. Quite frequently, one felt lost and wondered where they were going.
    3. At such times, it was helpful to be reminded of where God’s brought me thus far. And from there, to continue trusting where He might lead me, though one doesn’t know what lies ahead.
    4. [What God’s taught me this week]: As Corrie Ten Boom said, ‘There’s no pit so deep that God’s love is not deeper still.’
      1. An old man used to say, “If a man teacheth and performeth not he is like unto the large basin which receiveth the water for the assembly, which watereth and cleanseth many, but cannot itself be cleaned, and is full of dirt and impurity.”
        1. Oof. Hard truths.
      2. Abba Jacob used to say, “As a lamp illumineth a dark chamber, so doth the fear of God, if it abide in the heart of a man, illumine him, and teach him all the excellences of the commandments of God.”
        1. I wondered about this. After a while, I think it means that one learns not only what they call ‘spiritual excellences’, but the excellence or joy of abiding by God’s commandments.
        2. Which is a good thing I wish to develop.
      3. Abba Muthues used to say, “I would rather have the man with a little work, which abideth and is constant, than him who at the beginning laboureth severely, and son ceaseth altogether.”
        1. This hit home especially when I wasn’t as productive as I should’ve been. I like it because of how it reminds me that a little persistent work is better than trying to bite off more than one can chew and getting burnt out before the job’s even done.
      4. A brother asked Abba Marcianus, saying, “What shall I do so that I may live?” And the old man answered and said unto him, “He who looketh above seeth not which is below; he who is occupied closely with the things which are below hath no knowledge of what is above. And he who understandeth the things which are above is not concerned with what is below, for it is written, ‘Turn ye, and know that I am God” (Psalm xlvi, 10).
        1. For several reasons, this was encouraging. It sends a chill down one’s spine reading this – of course, not just to turn from sin, but also to cease from worrying about the world and to just rest in knowing God.
  6. Character improvements:
    1. Doesn’t feel like much progress was made.
  7. Hobbies;
    1. Some time spent gaming, other time wasted worrying.
  8. Random thoughts:
    1. “…reallly…?”
    2. “…..”
    3. “mm…that’s nice, but…”
    4. “Bleh…”
    5. “…”
    6. “…”
    7. “Bleh.”
  9. Week ahead:
    1. Work on my thesis continues. One last paper next Tues – gotta make notes for it and study over the weekend.
  10. Prayer for upcoming week:
    1. Patience to wait upon the Lord.
    2. Solitude with Him.
    3. Joy with/in/within Him.
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