RwR 11/6 to 17/6

A fairly decent week.

SoTW: Rain – Lucas King / The Lily of the Valley (I’ve Found A Friend In Jesus) – Charles W. Fry

Wanted to write this last night but didn’t. Left wrist hurting >< so hopefully it'll get better over time.

How I've been…

  1. Physically:
    1. Sleep has been generally consistent and sufficient but needs to be earlier.
    2. Exercise has been discontinued until further notice.
  2. Mentally:
    1. A good continuation from last week: Got a fair bit done throughout the week as evidenced by completion of my module reviews and writing of a general studying thought.
    2. Some days were less productive than others, to be sure, but still, it’s probably the urgency from having half the holidays gone that’s kicking in.
  3. Emotionally:
    1. It’s been a tough week, I won’t lie. I think it’s always great to be productive (except, of course, in sinning), but there are some aspects of joy from productiveness that just don’t carry over to other aspects of one’s life.
    2. In that sense, though I had a pretty decent week in terms of not slothing (much), that sometimes failed to translate over to happy emotions in other areas.
    3. I suppose much of what brought one’s spirits down so were thoughts about Guinevere and someone I only fleeting knew. For the former, it was good to give an explanation, but it’s also a bit sad to not hear back. Then again, one gets the feeling (which has been confirmed by a few others) that they’ve done all they could – leaving them back in the hands of God where they belong is the best thing to do.
    4. For the latter, it was…tough, as well. Sometimes you think ‘hey, this person might make a nice friend, we seem to click’, but then things just don’t work out the way one hopes. Whether that’s human free will or divinely blocked, I’m not too sure, but the outcome is the same – one’s left wondering what could’ve been, licking their wounds and trying to move on.
    5. In the former, one cared. In the latter, one hoped. It’s nice to be encouraged to move on and spend one’s emotions, time and energy on others – and that’s probably the right thing to do – but the struggle’s real to move on from what the heart’s tempted to dwell on.
  4. Socially:
    1. Not much in the way of meetups last week save working meetings. Well, those are good too.
    2. [BGR]: I realize I forgot to type about this in my past RwR – sometimes one just forgets about it in the same way they forget that others struggle with this. It seems over and done with, however – recent reflection on this has led me to conclude that perhaps it’s just not for me. In the same way some others say ‘Yea that God thing is good for you but it’s not just for me’, I’m happy for the many friends I know are or will be in relationships soon, but I think that’s where it ends.
    3. On some days one’s heart rests contentedly in God, on other days this comfortable, peaceful solitude is a bit harder to find. Still, it is no small blessing to have reached here by God’s grace and I’m beginning to understand more of what Brother Lawrence spoke of when he remarked on the presence of God.
  5. Spiritually:
    1. God has been fairly kind to me – though I struggle emotionally as mentioned above, I’ve been comforted by both the Desert Fathers and musings on ‘Lament for a Son’. The former teaches one humility and utter supplication to God – these saints too were mortals, and sinners, with all their weaknesses and failings. But God worked through them and, as Paul wrote, showed how His power was made perfect in their weakness: the less they sought themselves, the more they found God. The less of them one saw, the more one saw of God through them.
    2. I’ve finished the latter, and it’s a pretty good read. Time permitting, I may write some reflections on the topic of grief, sorrow and lamenting here. His reflections have been of immense help in one’s ruminations about grief and sorrow – from there, one not just knows where to begin, but what path he has taken and whether one would like to travel the same path for their own situation.
    3. [What God’s taught me this week]: In telling His disciples not to worry, I find it interesting that Jesus talks of how God the Father knows food, drink and clothes are necessary for living. And then later in 1 Tim 6:6-8, this same idea of being content with food, drink and clothes is brought forth, reminding me that actually, yea, one can be content with precious little. This was both a lesson that is a long time coming and also of immeasurable comfort, strange though it might seem.
  6. Character improvements:
    1. Is that…progress? Perhaps.
  7. Hobbies:
    1. Some time spent on gaming, a bit of time on cello.
    2. I’ve bought a viola for my birthday! (Despite all the viola jokes, I’m not deterred.) I shall call it ‘Faith’, and it’ll be a good companion to Hope (my cello).
    3. Hopefully I’ll be able to learn it well though – or at least, to an amateur level so I can play it for fun like I do with my cello.
  8. Random thoughts:
    1. “Meh.”
    2. “Hm…”
    3. “Bleh.”
    4. “Not bad…”
    5. “Bleh.”
    6. “So tired…”
    7. “Decent…”
  9. Week ahead:
    1. Since the week’s almost half over…I’ve got a couple of meetings and will need to work on some stuff for CG. Once that’s done, it’s time to get started on the neglected work of finding a thesis topic/prof and deciding what modules I’ll read next sem.
  10. Prayer for upcoming week:
    1. Healing for my left wrist/hand/arm.
    2. Wisdom in the work that lies before me.
    3. Strength and good health, for much remains to be done.

 

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