RwR 7/5 to 13/5

A tough week.

SoTW: Lament – Lucas King / Nearer, My God, To Thee – Sarah Flower Adams

Was going to write this last night but didn’t, so well, better late than later.

How I’ve been…

  1. Physically:
    1. Sleep was somewhat amusing – got about average sleep throughout the middle of the week but large spikes as the week came to an end. Mainly because my alarm failed to ring and one napped more as fatigue caught up.
    2. Still, I need to sleep earlier. Yup.
    3. Exercise has been restarted, albeit on an irregular basis.
  2. Mentally:
    1. Generally listless and spending one’s time not too well.
    2. On a whole I’d say last week – little good though it was – turned out better than this week.
  3. Emotionally:
    1. Well, it started out alright-ish. Then pretty much downhill all the way, peaking on Thursday and Friday with only a slight rebound on Sat and Sun.
    2. On one hand, I think I could do with better control of one’s reactions..on the other hand, I suppose a good way to avoid disappointment is to have low expectations of others.
    3. Then again, perhaps sometimes it’s necessary to face the facts, as they are, of course.
  4. Socially:
    1. A couple of meetups here and there…well, one for work, another for usual CG, a third for sending one off…yea.
    2. It was good to meet with Darren – who I MUN’d with – before he flew. Even as our paths diverge for the time being, perhaps we shall meet again – in another time, in another place.
    3. [BGR]: Came right into focus during a long contentious conversation with Char on Friday night. It was…well, heated, and despondent, at times, but perhaps that was necessary for me to recognize some things about myself. And after that…it came to mind no more…
  5. Spiritually:
    1. A tough week. Still, one saw little specks of God’s bright light…through the darkness.
    2. I’ve resolved to look more into the topic of lamenting and grief as a fellow melancholic soul first encouraged us to consider in SWAT 2017. I don’t know what I’ll find there, but…I’ve got this strange feeling that I might find something valuable in there. Like what Nicolas Wolterstorff wrote in ‘Lament for a Son’,
      1. ““God is not only the God of the sufferers but the God who suffers. … It is said of God that no one can behold his face and live. I always thought this meant that no one could see his splendor and live. A friend said perhaps it meant that no one could see his sorrow and live. Or perhaps his sorrow is splendor. … Instead of explaining our suffering God shares it.”
      2. and also, “I shall look at the world through tears. Perhaps I shall see things that, dry-eyed, I could not see.”
    3. Very likely, this is what I might find:
      1. ““How is faith to endure, O God, when you allow all this scraping and tearing on us? You have allowed rivers of blood to flow, mountains of suffering to pile up, sobs to become humanity’s song–all without lifting a finger that we could see. You have allowed bonds of love beyond number to be painfully snapped. If you have not abandoned us, explain yourself.We strain to hear. But instead of hearing an answer we catch sight of God himself scraped and torn. Through our tears we see the tears of God.
    4. And at the end of this short journey, I think I’ll be in a better position for having began it. So it’s exciting despite its somber nature.
    5. [What God’s taught me this week]: Sometimes one has to learn a lesson for themselves – however painfully, or however long it might take – before they can move on to other things. Of course, one wishes to learn that lesson without wasting too much time, but the value of the lesson isn’t diminished by how long it takes to learn it – only how well or poorly it is applied. If then one has learnt something, they should ‘live what they believe…’ – a nice quote I thought up although it’s probably already been used somewhere.
  6. Character improvements:
    1. Lost many battles, but by God’s grace, one war might have been won. I think there might be light at the end of the tunnel – one tunnel – at last.
  7. Hobbies:
    1. Some time spent on gaming, a little time spent on cello.
    2. Also watched a lot of ‘Yes Minister’ episodes on Daily Motion. Quite amusing.
  8. Random thoughts:
    1. “Hm…”
    2. “Blargh…”
    3. “Bleh…”
    4. “….ow…”
    5. “…..ouch….”
    6. “….”
    7. “meh….”
  9. Week ahead:
    1. Probably going to record a cello cover and clear some old drum covers on my to-do list…start working out the requirements for a thesis proposal and also spend lots of time reflecting on some very real issues.
  10. Prayer for upcoming week:
    1. Discipline in the small things of life.
    2. Wisdom in reflection.
    3. Peace, for what may come.



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