RwR 15/1 to 21/1

New beginnings.

SoTW: Blue Romance – Lucas King / As The Deer – Martin Nystrom

Was supposed to write this last night but got on a call which ended late, so here we are.


How I’ve been…

  1. Physically:
    1. Been getting more regular sleep, though rarely before 2am still. Pulled a particularly late night on the first night of school clearing readings for the next day – the next few days were slightly better.
    2. Exercised a bit more as the week came to an end.
  2. Mentally:
    1. Pretty busy on Monday and Tuesday, which was pretty good. Slacked off on Wed and Thurs though, as the week came to an end, which I dislike.
    2. Pace should also have picked up more than it did on Fri to I Sun.
    3. In short, needs more working on.
  3. Emotionally:
    1. It has been a good, steady improvement throughout the week. From a low on the first day to going up, up and more up – each day saw small joys being discovered and remembered.
    2. It’s not so much that one looks at the small things of life and are grateful for them, but one became more aware of God’s presence and then feels one’s spirits lifted.
  4. Socially:
    1. Didn’t do any meetups in particular last week so it was mostly just me and my computer as the week came to a close. It’s been good to have at least one person I recognize in most of my mods, though, but I might also try stepping out of my comfort zone.
    2. [BGR]: Occasionally talked about and discussed but never seriously considered or ruminated upon considering I’ve set my heart upon the pursuit of God first.
  5. Spiritually:
    1. Boy, this is going to be long.
    2. But basically, I’ve spent some time thinking and reflecting when doing QT at night. Came to some new conclusions and started taking the ‘personal’ aspect of ‘a personal relationship with God’ a lot more seriously.
    3. In particular, this quote by some I don’t know (Francis Roberts) struck me: ‘Holiness is not a feeling – it is the end product of obedience. Purity is not a gift – it is the result of repentance and serious pursuit of God!‘. Combined with reading TPoG as I’ve recommended by a church CGM/FBiC, I’ve thought long and hard about what the serious and sincere pursuit of God would look like.
    4. And so as the days went by, I’ve been slowly taking steps to help myself walk faithfully with God. There was some spiritual resistance at the beginning, but God overcame it quite easily and thus a nice, inexplicable peace has settled on my heart for a good many days since I’ve began this.
    5. I still don’t have all the answers, but combined with my post last week about how I’m beginning to appreciate having a little light at a time and being faithful in small things, it’s not been much of a problem. Indeed, I look to do what has been placed before me, even if it’s not much, as a reflection of, well, being faithful with little.
    6. [What God’s taught me this week]: Much as shown above, but also what has been worked out following nights of wrestling and quiet contemplation: ‘I think at the end of one’s life, if they’ve died and gone to Heaven and God’s like ‘well done, you’ve completed my purpose for your life’, I think that’s enough. It doesn’t matter whether one was in a relationship or not because well, it won’t matter then, and if it won’t matter then, it doesn’t really matter that much now, does it?’ Because of that baseline, one can easily go forth and seek more of His purpose compared to the past when one was tempted to only seek God after a particular gift had been given. 
  6. Character improvements:
    1. A slow, steady progress by the grace of the God.
    2. Beholding Him with the eyes of the heart is really…something. 
  7. Hobbies:
    1. Some time spent on cello and CS:GO. Much more than I’d have liked, in retrospect.
  8. Random thoughts:
    1. ‘Hehe, a cryptic reply indeed.’
    2. ‘One step at a time…’
    3. ‘Wow, the frontlines of spiritual warfare suddenly came a lot closer home…’
    4. ‘It’s exhausting, but well, one did ask for God to teach him greater trust…’
    5. ‘It’s….over? That was fast. Yay~’
    6. Hm…with eyes of the heart, indeed. Interesting…’
    7. ‘A walk of faithfulness; a new life. And a relationship that will last unto eternity.’
    8. ‘Christ in front, beside, behind….oh yes. Inside, too.’
    9. ‘Wow. I never thought that she who I wrote of in my SWAT reflections would accept that which has been ignored for so long, but…wow. I don’t think it’ll go anywhere given that I’ll hardly see her, though, but…wow.’
    10. ‘First, loving God. Second, trusting God. Third…following God?’
  9. Week ahead:
    1. After clearing a lot of readings for the first couple of days, I’ve got a few free(r) days as the week again comes to a close. Time to buckle up and make the most of it given the huge amount of work I’ve got ahead of me this sem.
  10. Prayer for upcoming week:
    1. Greater discipline to recognize when I’m slacking off.
    2. Wisdom as I tackle what needs to be done with gusto.
    3. Serenity in appreciating the presence of God daily, even hourly.

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