RwR 1/1 to 7/1

A challenging week.

SoTW: Reflections – Mulan / A Pure Heart – Hosanna Music

Could’ve gotten this done last night but was busy writing my SWAT reflections so here we go.

How I’ve been…

  1. Physically:
    1. Been catching up on sleep ever since SWAT ended. Generally felt alright (but actually wasn’t), then had a slight fever which broke around…Wednesday? I think. Been dealing with the after effects (flu) ever since then.
    2. No exercise as a result. Sleeping late also has not helped (and probably aggravated) said illness.
  2. Mentally:
    1. I did not spend my time productively for at least half the week, so this was pretty bad.
    2. A little bit like a rollercoaster: extremely busy in the first half of the week and a bit too slack for my liking in the second half of the week.
  3. Emotionally:
    1. It was a pretty tough week. Following the events of SWAT, I met up with TBO and Amthrax on Tues and got a earful of things that I needed to think about. More below.
    2. The three days which followed were also rather low, resulting in only a tepid recovery as the week came to an end.
  4. Socially:
    1. As mentioned above, met up with TBO and Amthrax on Tues. It was really good catching up with them. Rest of the week, nope.
    2. [BGR]: At times on one’s mind, at times less so.
  5. Spiritually:
    1. I suppose the armour-piercing question would be something TBO had asked me in the past, but this time there was a follow up question: ‘What do you want? And how much do you want it?’
    2. There was encouragement to be honest with oneself and with God, but there was also chiding. For the first time in my life, I realized the necessity of reframing one’s identity based on one’s history. That is to say, a more accurate description of me would be ‘Christian for only a couple of years – should be considered a new Christian with some background Bible knowledge’ rather than ‘Christian for many years.’ And beginning with this it was then easier to see what needed to be done – and where.
    3. I was also shown the futility of running around in circles with God – how dangerous it was to adopt fatalism as a defensive mechanism, and how contentment which Paul preached about was the solution, the third way, between cynicism/fatalism and misguided/unbounded optimism. And more than that, patience was something I needed to work on, aside from other fears that perhaps encouraged a particular mode of behaviour.
    4. In the end, my knowledge of Bible cliches came back to haunt me. TBO remarked ‘You need to know God, not just know about God or know cliches about God. Know Him personally based on your own experiences and then you’ll begin to see a way.’ It wasn’t the first time someone had said this to me, and so I think there’s a pattern.
    5. There was encouragement at the end about how much I’ve grown, but as usual more work remains to be done. And so, I continue.
    6. [What God’s taught me this week]: See above.
  6. Character improvements:
    1. Not much progress unfortunately.
  7. Hobbies:
    1. A smattering of cello and guitar here and there, but that’s about it.
  8. Random thoughts:
    1. “It’s been so busy ever since coming back..”
    2. “Shit. I can’t answer that…and my lack of answer…is an answer…”
    3. “Is that a light at the end of the tunnel I see…?”
    4. “I’ve got a feeling there’s going to be an intense struggle…”
    5. “This is like the three days of trial which Jesus went through…although He certainly fared much better than me…”
    6. “It’s….over, or is it?”
    7. “Even then, even now, one learns about Christ, and themselves…”
    8. “Even to the end…”
  9. Week ahead:
    1. The last week and much to be done. A few appointments to discuss stuff but work-wise I need to really up my game and get my personal reflections done before school begins anew.
  10. Prayer for upcoming week:
    1. Recovery from flu.
    2. Clarity of thought and purpose in reflections.
    3. Energy and patience in pursuing God.
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