RwR 15/5 to 21/5

Intending to write a few posts, so I’ll separate my RwR from posts about other stuff.

SoTW: Snowfall – Lucas King / None But Jesus – Hillsongs

Timecheck: 8:51pm.

Intended to write this on Sunday night, then procrastinated until Monday night, then last night was busy CS:GOing as well so getting on it today.

How I’ve been…

  1. Physically:
    1. The battle to keep an early sleep cycle is real. The battle to get regular sleep is not, however.
    2. A set of weights I’ve ordered finally arrived via sea shipment from Taobao Glad to have received/collected them without any issues thanks to SGShop (the Taobao company I use, since I really like their service). Have used them a bit and pretty stoked – will see how far I can get with them.
    3. Unfortunately I’ve not ran last week either. >< I will have to start this week…
  2. Mentally:
    1. The challenge to be as productive as I am during the term remains. I had a flurry of meetings but not much to work on until after the meetings, and after said meetings the amount of work just exploded, leaving me at a loss regarding where to begin.
    2. Some progress was made on late Sunday evening to prioritize and begin cutting through the stack though. Phew.
  3. Emotionally:
    1. Hm. It’s been a mixed week – my emotions are sometimes tied to how productive I’ve been as well as social interactions I had (or wished I had).
    2. This week wasn’t very productive as mentioned above, but a few social interactions helped to even it out.
    3. Overall I’d say things were stable on Monday before climbing slowly on Tuesday and peaking on Tuesday night.
    4. Wednesday through Friday and Sunday was a slow, steady decline in happiness. Partly due to dashed hopes, partly due to disgust upon self-reflection.
    5. As mentioned above, Sunday evening saw a slight boost after I finished a game of SoaSE I had been intending to clear for a long time. It felt as if a self-imposed weight I had…well, placed on myself (redundant much), was finally lifted. And I rocked that cool Cap’n hat as well while playing the game – feels fun to be at the top of an empire making key strategic decisions, not so much fun feeling responsible for your ship girls.
      1. One day I’m going to write a fanfic crossing SoaSE’s Advent with Kancolle’s shipgirls. There’s just so many parallels it’ll be a regret not working (or at least trying and failing) to do something like that.
      2. Hopefully it’ll be less lemony than most Kancolle content out there at present~
  4. Socially:
    1. A corp election on Monday – I left before it was over since it was getting quite late – okay….?
    2. A smaller meeting with my new team I’m serving with on Tuesday followed by a meetup with an old army acquaintance (who I’ll call Triz) ended with a long consultation with my sis about what I had consulted Amthrax and TBO with (or in the case of Pajamas, discussed with) – not bad, quite good.
    3. A slightly larger meeting with my predecessors and new team on Wednesday, followed by a meetup with Kaixer – The former went as expected, the latter could’ve been better.
    4. Thursday through Sunday saw nothing much. A couple of blueticks by Guinevere killed about 30% of my emotions, admittedly. Then on Saturday (or was it Sunday?), a small switch flicked on (or was it off?) which I still haven’t resolved yet.
    5. [BGR]: This indeed came to mind, though not in the way it usually did during the week. Mostly absent at the first and last sections of the week, it was most….interesting, to be at make-out point (or rather, be surrounded by couples making out) when I met up with Kaixer. The precise location is somewhere high up at a certain place I’ve mentioned in past posts, but yea. My favourite spot to chill and talk with friends invaded by couples – it’s like everybody knew that’s a good spot to HTHT at.
      1. Then again, it’s not exactly my spot and there are a few other hidden places to have quiet conversations at (outside of foodcourts, which are nicely air-con’d but also filled with the noise of bustling business and consumption). Maybe I’ll check them out next time.
      2. Speaking Triz about BGR was interesting – I suspect he might belong to the minority (or majority, depending on who one listens to) whose sexual orientations are malleable. Or perhaps I’ve not heard the full story, but…yea. He is in a most interesting situation, though not one that is unfortunately easily resolved. A good and nice person though – a friendly person to talk to.
  5.  Spiritually:
    1. Things took a different path from my emotions? Went up before crashing on Wednesday, then slowly went up on Thursday and Friday before stagnating on Saturday and Sunday.
    2. One thing I’ve been pondering is the idea of surrendering things to God. Came across a few quotes which gave one food for thought:
      1. “Growing closer to God is not the result of trying harder, but of surrendering more.”
      2. which sounds like it’s contradicted (but isn’t) by this: “Absolute surrender is not about me getting closer to God, but allowing God to get closer to me.”
    3. I’m new to this whole aspect of growth as a person, but I think the following makes some sense: “No life is more secure than a life surrendered to God.”
      1. As humans, we tend to give up/surrender some freedoms in order to gain others. Society’s generally built upon/formed when people surrender their right to kill others out of greed or anger (without fear of reprisal, anyway), and in return they get the freedom to walk around and live their lives without the fear of others, well, killing them.
      2. So it’s not always a zero-sum game of surrender – it’s what freedom one prioritizes. Hobbes argued that a State was necessary (and even desirable) to a state of Nature, but he admitted that this involved surrendering some freedom humans had in exchange for others.
      3. Same things goes with God, as I take it to be.
  6. Character improvements:
    1. Progress in nailbiting has unfortunately seen a roadblock – time to push through it, as Cap’n Haddock says.
      1. I really like this short motivational speech. Cliched, but it helps one refocus after hitting a wall when they didn’t expect there to be any.
    2. Progress in other aspects feels like two steps forward, one step back (or is it one step forward and two steps back?). Still, even if one falls, at least they’re still moving forward. Forward is the only way to go~
  7. Hobbies:
    1. A lotta time spent on CS:GO and SoaSE. Most regrettably my solo queue CS:GO account lost its Nova 3 after losing a few games in a row and I’m back to a Nova 2 on there.
    2. Social account’s still a Nova 1 though, and holding steady~
    3. Not much time spent on guitar (although what time was spent on it is always enjoyable) or drums for that matter. Didn’t record the covers like I planned to.
  8. Random thoughts:
    1. “These couples should really get a room. But hey they’re doing what comes naturally so…”
    2. “Why am I always being paired with shitty/horrible players on my team?! One player that wants to throw games on purpose/griefing is one too many….”
    3. “Try as one might, one cannot get any closer to God if one’s always pushing Him away.”
    4. “A second week of blueticks by Guinevere. Ah well…”
    5. “Faith in God also means faith in God’s timing. Dayum that quote was good.”
  9. Week ahead:
    1. The last week of holidays before things get busy. Gotta make up for lost time.
    2. A quiet week ahead – so no excuses. As a certain quote goes, “You only have two choice: Make progress or make excuses.” I’d like more of the former and less of the latter.
  10. Prayer for upcoming week:
    1. Strength to follow through on God’s wisdom regarding what needs to be done.
    2. Wisdom for the parts that require great insight (especially in management of people and friendships).
    3. Renewed focus on the Lord, for it’s too easy to always be busy, always hustlin’, yet simply spinning one’s wheels and going nowhere fast.

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