Looking at the blog’s stats, I’m seeing a lot of hits for the Dreamweaver post. Glad that it’s hopefully of some help to others.
Also played drums again for service over the past weekend. My last time I’m scheduled before finals come. Uploads perhaps over the next few days.
Edit: Here are the links:
It’s been a long week. Some weeks feel longer than others.
Anyway, it’s 3:12am now. Wanted to get this out before I slept but procrastinated for way too long.
How I’ve been…
- It got slowly better as the week progressed, then things nosedived on Thursday or so due to a pulled muscle.
- I’ve found a lot of things are tied to one’s habits. So the unraveling of a habit can lead to others also unraveling.
- Which isn’t a good thing if other habits are good.
- Recently had an interest to do more for my fitness though. Will see how it goes in the future.
- It has been a lot more tiring rewriting an essay (whose deadline was later shifted) as well as planning my final assignment for this term. Also catching up on readings because of poor time management.
- Still, things got better as the week progressed, up until Saturday and Sunday again.
- Started the week on a high – optimistic and such, especially following the reconciliation with Guinevere.
- Unexpectedly solo’d a Bible Study session on an awkward topic (Singlehood and Sexual Desire) and had a short convo after with Krist, a friend of mine. I had only planned to lead it as an aside for my group but some things happened and well, we had a mass BS and since I was the only one that had prepped for it, we ended up in the same room and I tried to show how different understandings of that topic could be arrived.
- Based, of course, on interpretations of interpretations of interpretations of specific Bible verses.
- If you take something out of context or spin it far enough, you can use it to justify many things. Perhaps not everything, but plenty for one’s purposes.
- Krist impressed upon me the importance of emotional side for girls – which was relevant because I had been teaching a group primarily made up of girls. Like what…13 girls and 3 (including me) guys?
- I’d have led a discussion on that if it had been the topic but unfortunately not. Perhaps in the future (despite me not being a girl, I’m hopeful that my conversations with them have helped me to misunderstand them less.)
- Went home wondering if I had done/taught the right thing. Then again, I was affirmed post-study for showing them new perspectives (borderline heretical though they may seem, and I say this half in jest) so perhaps it wasn’t all that bad.
- Nosedived on Sat and Sun due to like blehness. Related to socially.
- Monday to Wednesday was a lot quieter during mealtimes than I was used to. Everybody’s not that free, some of my friends such as Kaixer that I would usually jio for lunch were going to graduate and were on placement/practicum stuff. It’s something I do miss I guess.
- This busyness also extended to Priestess and Pajamas, unfortunately. The former couldn’t make it on Thursday, and the latter, well we had a short meetup of about 45 mins. Better than nothing certainly, but lots was left unsaid.
- For future meet ups, perhaps.
- So when it came to the weekend, I find myself lacking social interaction significantly. Either I need to deepen my existing friendships or make more friends.
- The former is good, but no matter how deep a friendship is, there’ll always be limits to scheduling and one has to find other outlets for meeting their social needs.
- The latter…not interested in superficial friendships a la Oregairu. And anyway these friendships will be pruned over time when one graduates and has less time to socialize, so no point forming friendships that one knows they aren’t likely to invest a lot in the future.
- [BGR]: There was a cute girl on Tuesday afternoon lecture who sat on the right of me, and to my left was an acquaintance. Both were acquaintances with each other by virtue of being in the same tutorial class. It’s amusing and I’m glad I happened to have tissues a couple of weeks back, but yea. It would’ve been nice to meet people like this earlier in the sem, not when it’s about to end.
- More specifically, I recently complained to Pajamas and a few friends that there seems to be a limit of time regarding female friendships.
- Like one can build on them, yes, but at the end of the day (i.e. post grad), they’ll return to their boyfriends (for good reason). So it’s not that it’s impossible to build on existing friendships, for they certainly do serve a purpose, but at the same time one can’t help the feeling that there’s not that much point in doing so.
- Ideally one would like to maintain said friendships as a support and advice network, but build on a proper relationship with someone that they’re seeing/dating. That way, they’d give the relationship the best chance of success in the future through good foundations and both people don’t have the feeling of ‘yea we’re close but at the end of the day this person’s attached to someone else so….there’s only so far that one is inclined to build upon.’
- That said, I’m grateful for my close female friends (if anything, their differing perspectives are alternately amusing and intriguing). I just wish there was something more tangible that I could build on – perhaps this is the ‘building a life together’ portion that some muse about.
- Also I can already hear the ‘build a r/s with Jesus’ – yea, gotcha. But the sermon on Sunday proved that it’s not impossible to be even a missionary and to be married – it’s hard, but not impossible. So why not both? (in the sense of serving + being married).
- Got better from Monday to Tuesday.
- Sank as loneliness increased from Tuesday and continued until eventually peaking on Sunday morning/noon.
- A good sermon on Sunday noon made up for it to some extent, but not completely.
- Tired was how I felt. Not the good sort of tired, more of the emotional side of tiredness.
- Then some stuff encourages me, like this.
- So it’s been a mixed bag…
- Character improvements:
- Working on it. Actively working, now.
- It’s fun to play the guitar sometimes while I’m still learning it.
- Drums…not so much. Band prac on Sat morning and service on Sunday seems to be enough.
- Random thoughts:
- Girls do look quite good in shorts. But at some point one’s just like ‘…..yeah…. okay.’
- I really like this quote. Shows I need more time spent on BS and in QT.
- Week ahead:
- The final week. All assignments cleared.
- Need to begin revision so that I have an easier Reading Week.
- Prayer for upcoming week:
- Strength and wisdom for school.
- Comfort and solace for myself.
- Continued faith even when I’m not sure whether to keep going. They don’t call it a crisis of faith for no reason, but there’s always a silver lining.