A week that was slightly better in terms of work.
It’s currently 2:09am, and I’m late in typing this by a couple of days.
But better late than never. So here we go.
How I’ve been…
- Gotten back to doing minor exercises like pushups.
- Still not running though. Bleh.
- Sleeping has gone back to late nights – trying to sleep before 2am saw mixed success.
- A bit better than last week.
- Managed to clear a couple of essays that were due so…a big relief.
- Consulted several people (Star and Pajamas) regarding a decision of whether I should take up a CGL role.
- Fluctuated during the week – was bad, then got better over time as work began to get a bit lighter.
- Had a good meet up with some people – a call on Tuesday, a meet up on Wednesday with Star and on Friday with Pajamas.
- Found out that Pajamas vaguely knows another female friend of mine…let’s call her Valkyrie.
- Had an unexpectedly long texvo with Valkyrie about said acquintanceship. Was interesting.
- Church was okay.
- [Special Section: BGR] – Thought a little more about it. But sometimes one just realizes that there’s a lot more work which needs to be done. Still, I agree with the standard Christian doctrine about dating except that there’s the problem of agency.
- Since girls aren’t supposed (going by said doctrine) to initiate anything, a girl can go through 4 years of college and be like ‘Oh well God, I’m still single. Guess nobody wants me – just You and me.’
- But if it was a guy, he’d be wondering ‘Should I not have been so picky? Should I have asked that girl out instead?’ if he was still single. So because he’s expected to take the first step, that places him in an uncomfortable position where he’s not sure if he’s single because of a lack of action or because that’s where God wants him to be.
- Hence my advocacy for equality in small things like these. I don’t deny guys should ask girls out, but I see no reason why this is the sole domain of them. At the very least, it’ll give guys the chance to know what it feels like to reject someone instead of them always being put in a position of acceptance or rejection.
- But that’s probably an unpopular view to take because it’s much easier as a Christian girl to wait for someone to ask you out – then you won’t have to risk being rejected, and can instead be the one rejecting without much concern.
- Ah well. There’ll probably be a time when this comes.
- Slowly became better as the week approached an end.
- Got an answer from God (somewhat unexpectedly) regarding whether I should take up said CGL role.
- I don’t think it’s a coincidence that the one time I go for a sermon in two weeks, they began a new sermon series about ‘Challenging One’s Faith – Accepting the Call’. And essentially preaches about taking up positions of responsibility while being prepared for the costs.
- It’s a bit too convenient.
- But as I tell God, send me people to work with too, since I don’t know who I should ask to help me out in an ACGL role. I got a clear resounding ‘Yes’, but yes more help would be nice.
- Also found a song God placed on my heart, which is the SoTW. Quite nice.
- Character improvements
- Minor progress made in nailbiting was gone, regrettably. I gotta get in the habit of nail filing.
- A bit better at working on essays early. Nothing like finishing an essay a week before its due, only to have the deadline pushed back. Ah well…
- A constant battle. But the harder I’m hit, I want to swing back harder.
- A lot more Rebuild 3 than I expected.
- Some CS:GO too; was fun with friends.
- Nothing for drums – expected.
- Random thoughts:
- Sometimes it feels like one isn’t sure whether to do something or stand by and watch things happen. Does inaction count as indifference, and should it be practiced?
- Silence or uncertain support can mean a lot of things…
- But at the same time, “Papa Poirot” is an interesting character to develop. I should try that.
- Sometimes my expectations are too high.
- Sometimes I’m not trying hard enough.
- How do I differentiate between the two? Wisdom.
- Week ahead:
- Technically 2 days in. But need to catch up on readings and give my answer and a lot of other stuff.
- Need to buck up on many aspects. Duty calls.
- Again – there is time, I just need to be faithful in my use of it.
- Prayer for upcoming week:
- Wisdom to know when I need to try harder and when I’ve tried enough.
- Clarity of purpose and capable help in ministry.
- A clear mind, rested body, clean hands and pure heart.
It’s a small world after all~