An eventful week.
So this is my first weekly post. I’m feeling super tired now (food coma + effects of shower) but I’ll stick to what I’ve set out to do and get it done.
RwR is kinda cute actually. Looks like the emoji owo popular among some kids. In any case, it stands for ‘Roe’s Weekly Review’. WIR (Week in Review) would also have worked, just that it would’ve sounded more clinical and less casual.
Each RwR will have a title that states the duration covered as well as a short sentence describing the week. Probably a ‘song of the week’ (SotW) as well – something that was at the back of my mind for the whole week.
So let’s begin: How I’ve been…
- Sleeping late and waking up late. I don’t think I’ve slept before 2am for the past few months actually…it’s consistently been 3+. Which is bad. But since most of my lessons start after 12, I wake up at 11 feeling that I got some poor quality sleep that happened to be more than 7 hours.
- Fitness-wise it’s been okay – not ran for this month yet and just continuing my usual pushups. Recently broke 40 in a min and still keeping it around there, I think that’s my max.
- Nailbiting: Been applying the bitter-tasting lotion infrequently, so also seeing infrequent success in not picking/biting them.I try to put them on after I’ve brushed my teeth though, so my mouth doesn’t taste the bitterness when flossing.
- Tired. Not gotten enough work done as I should have.
- Challenging to start back up when one knows they have a full week of breaks ahead. But I think I’ll get the momentum I once had at the start of the sem back soon enough.
- It’s been a long week. Monday – attended a BGR talk by FCBC. Was not bad, learned some stuff and got some things to think about relating to matters of faith and such.
- Tuesday – Valentine’s Day. There seems to be a general gloom and despair around school on a day like this were people are a lot more aware of their singlehood (hence its other name: Single Awareness Day – probably not a coincidence that the letters line up to form ‘SAD’). I was affected by it too to some extent, so I reached out and got some encouragement.
- Wednesday – Thank God for plumbs. Went like BAMN when sharing with a senior of mine since others didn’t turn up for it. And it was a good sharing, got some things to think about. Had a couple of major revelations on Wednesday night when reflecting on what had happened so it was good.
- Thursday – Some school, a good worship and some BS (Bible Study). Sharing was facilitated by having a smaller group and I did get some insights from the contributions of others.
- Friday – A good couple of lunch meetups with a couple of people in my BS group. It felt nice to have given them the backstory but I feel a bit tired after having expanded so much energy emotionally.
- So that’s how I am now – feeling tired after all that’s happened today.
- Meeting up was not bad this week. Quite nice to have meals with people and get to know them or share more about myself with them.
- A lot better than the past couple of weeks where it felt like the exact opposite due to schedule constraints ><
- BGR – I’ve satisfied for myself the irrationally of jumping into poorly thought-out relationships out of loneliness. Not to say that feeling lonely isn’t an empty, hollow feeling sometimes, but I’d much rather have that than go into a string of relationships and be reminded of past ex’s or breakups every time I brought someone new to a place that I had been to in the past before with someone else. So yea – it’s important to work on self and be pretty sure before indicating one’s interest in anyone.
- Wow. There’s so much I can type here, but maybe just a couple that I’ve learned:
- It’s perfectly normal to feel a spiritual low after a spiritual high. And in moments/periods of this, there’s no wrong admitting one’s weakness and seeking God.
- I’ve also made the mistake of only being happy with the concept of God’s sovereignty on a conditional basis. Meaning that when things were going well for me, it’s easy to rejoice in God’s sov, but when things don’t go the way I want, I end up having grudging willingness for this concept.
- So getting to the conclusion of ‘If God is all you have, you have all you need’ -> ‘All one needs is God’ made it a bit easier to acknowledge said sov in good times and bad out of joy.
- Character improvements
- A long way to go on many things. Responsibility, discipline, maturity, strength, wisdom and faith.
- Still, I’m glad for a couple of revelations mentioned above (which were, strangely enough, prayed for for me at the end of the BGR talk on Monday), and that’s a definite sign of progress on maturity vis-a-vis relationships.
- No progress made on hobbies sadly.
- Spent like 8 hours over two days (Tues late noon-night and Wed late noon-night) playing MtG online after remaking my old decks. It’s fun, but I don’t think I’ll be spending any more time on that. Got other things to do.
- Random thoughts
- It’s difficult to tell exactly the depth of a girl’s maturity at first glance. That’s why knowing her is important – one doesn’t want to end up in a LTR with a girl that lacks said LTR characteristics.
- Sometimes people feel that their character is set in stone. That ‘these people are generous, but I’m not them, and 1. I’ll never be or 2. I don’t want to be.’ Replace that with kind or caring or any good trait. Sure, if one doesn’t want to be, then that’s up to them. But I’ll at least try for various traits.
- There seems to be quite a lot of pressure placed (in Christian dating doctrine/theory, at least) on a guy asking a girl to be his girlfriend. It’s almost akin to a half-offer for marriage (since most Christians talk to date, date to court and court to marry). On one hand, it’s good for both parties to be on the same page about expectations. On the other, I don’t envy the girl’s position of having to calibrate a proper response to what would innocuously seem (to those that work on a different dating basis) as the start of a relationship. Maybe that explains the shorter dating periods for Christian couples since, if both parties are already on the same page, they don’t need to spend as long and risk one partner getting cold feet when the other person hasn’t indicated any interest in marriage or something.
- Kids really are kids. Hard to believe that one was as carefree at a time like that in the past.
- Everyone has their own race to run, everyone has their own battle to fight. So keep going deeper (why does a girl feel agitated/emotional when her bf doesn’t reply her text within a few hours? Go deeper and it ends up somewhere like ‘because I don’t feel love’ -> why then does one want to feel loved? What is the cause of that?) and keep finding out more about oneself, or paper over the cracks despite being aware that there are cracks and risk things getting real when push comes to shove. Doesn’t have to be just limited to relationships, but often magnified since there can (and often are) cracks on both sides that need to be addressed before they can move forward.
- Week ahead
- Recess week, thank God. A good rest and time to catch up on work.
- A good time to do a couple of meetups as well and update them on how I’ve been.
- But mostly work. Midterm paper approaches.
- Prayer for upcoming week
- For continued joy in the Lord and wisdom to tackle the huge amount of work ahead of me.
- Rest and peace for my soul.
That was surprisingly long, but it’s somewhat comprehensive.
And thus ends my first RwR. Looks good, moving on~